Quite honestly, it's just too hard sometimes.
Why does that beautiful little girl have to lie all alone in a crib with her hands tied in stockings, when I would be willing to come and get her?
Why does that amazing little boy have to sit alone in his bed all day when I would so love to take him out to experience the world?
Why do I have to be single at this time in my life when I want so badly to have a family and children? Why do I have to hear their cries when there is nothing I can do to rescue them?
Quite honestly, I am jealous of every one I see adopting, and jealousy isn't exactly a trait one is supposed to possess. So I have hidden from this blog, trying to ignore my own feelings of wistfulness at what I am not ready for at this point in my life.
Bu recently I have noticed people actually viewing my blog. People actually noticing Emmitt and Elena. Is it possible that I could actually have some impact on finding these two a family?
Whether or not I have any part in it, I can only hope and pray that God will lead their family to them long before I am in a situation to adopt.
And in the meantime maintain my faith that I can be useful in whatever small way.
I totally agree. I am 31 and single and I am wondering how long that will be. I feel that if I don't get married soon enough, I most likely never will. Mostly only divorced men with kids will be available, and they most likely won't want new kids.
ReplyDeleteI do have to remember there were many great women of God who never married, such as Amy Carmichael, Mary Slessor, and many more.
I want to encourage you as I read your blog and donate when I can. You are advocating for children and this is very IMPORTANT!! You will part of their life story. I am so sorry that you can not adopt right now, but please know that you are touching the lives of these children in a different, but still just as important way.!!!
ReplyDeleteKim
Wow, do I ever RELATE! I am married, but we are low income, even though I just took a job working with special needs, money is still tight.. So I just don't know how to come up with the money it would take..plus my house is small and not very accessible to the child(ren) I dream about having..as they use wheelchairs. I desperately want a large, wheelchair friendly home and the means to go over to Eastern Russian and scoop up some of these children and bring them home! It is hard to look at them and think about what I'd be doing with them if I could just get them here..it's hard imagining their lives now..so alone with so little comfort/stimulation. I want to scream sometimes!! I'm holding onto this dream though..I'm not giving up. I love that you are posting about these darlings--do keep it up! It does help to raise awareness.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about feeling a twinge of jealousy when I hear of others successfully bringing their little ones home..but I am oh so happy for the little ones that are getting the families they so richly deserve.
Love and God bless you! I think we can find a way..let's not give up hope!